Thinkers sink leaky B&G

Burge & Gunson 1 PFFC 7

Ian, 3 December 2000


Bathroom fitters Burge & Gunson must have felt like throwing in their Grafton Millennium League towel after Philosophy Football ‘tapped’ them for seven goals in East Ewell. The result lifted the Thinkers to an unprecedented third in the table and left the Surrey based shower firmly in the league’s basement.

The goal-spree represented a tactical triumph for PF coach Geoff Andrews, who evidently had been taking lessons in mind games from Alex Ferguson in advance of his side’s upcoming foray into European competition in Italy.

With the logistics of a trip to Rome at the back of his mind, Andrews taught his side a lesson in disciplined time-keeping by deliberately requesting the earliest kick-off most of his side will have experienced since their days in junior football. And all this against a side based far enough away to make references to the A-Z futile.

As if to emphasise his disciplined train of thought, the calculating PF chief sported the kind of trench coat typical of European coaching’s top names. He was to be rewarded for his masterplan as a first half of calculated containment bore fruit.

Playing against a 1:20 slope, the ‘crimson contemplators’ broke through the plumber’s mates’ leaky defence for Chris to score.

The trickle from the rearguard hole became a spurting fountain of second-half goals. Stefan, obviously determined to put his goal drought behind him, helped himself to a hat-trick, as did Chris.

Keir was orchestrating proceedings in midfield with such aplomb that the Scottish midfield general scarcely broke stride in lofting the ball over the stranded Burge keeper for the goal of the game.

At the back, it seemed Rob was destined to keep his first clean sheet of the season as Burge’s attacking opportunities were stifled at source by Paul and Joe. His illusions were shattered, though, when deputy between the sticks Ian was guilty of criminal complacency.

With PF so profoundly superior to their hosts, the seconded ex-stopper allowed a Burge forward to rob him in the penalty area. Ian tripped his man before letting Raj take the fall for an unnecessary penalty when the referee awarded a handball. At least he didn’t do it when it was 0-0 in the last minute.

But limbering up for their trip to the eternal city, the ease with which PF recorded this victory will no doubt live on in the memory.